February 26, 2007

I'm not sure if I will be able to get through this post. Sometimes life can be so shitty - you know, when it gives you those moments that change your life forever. The ring of the doorbell or of the telephone bringing news that you don't want. I've had two such experiences. One when I was younger and a policeman came to the door to tell us that my brother had been killed in a car accident. He had been hitchhiking home for the Christmas holidays. As some of you know, my daughter and I had taken a vacation last week with my mom and dad, and my sister and her family. My daughter and I flew home on Sunday and everyone else was spending some extra time down in Florida. The phone rang Monday morning - it was my dad telling me that my mom had died sometime during the night. Life will never be the same. She was such a special person - so sweet, always making the best of everything. She had such a wonderful smile and always had a happy good morning. I can't believe she is gone and I will never get to hug her, laugh with her, look at her.


All week, I have felt so off balance, so sad. It's hard to listen to people telling me I should be thankful for the week we had together. I don't feel thankful - she didn't want to die. It happened so suddenly - you just feel ripped apart.


Anyway, the tears are coming again. I will post this picture of my mom and dad from last week. I love her so much. I miss her so much.



I can't bring myself to knit on the Bloomin' Feet socks. If I pick something up, I feel like it is something I will need to keep - something to knit my sorrows and memories into - something I will be able to wrap around me for comfort. I had been working on Ariann before the vacation but I'm not sure if that is the wrap around me kind of sweater I need. I do have the yarn for Flyingdales or maybe a shawl. I'm not sure I can handle a swatch - is there anyone with input on the Black Water Abbey yarn. Will the gauge change much after washing?

Everyone who reads this - please hug someone you care about and tell them how much you love them. It really is true that you don't know what tomorrow will bring.